Do you eye flirt? Oh yes you do . . . you can’t fool me. What does eye flirting have to do with business? Surprisingly, business is a highly social activity. Now I’m not saying that you should get overly personal in your business relationships. It’s just that . . . well, come on inside, let’s have a chat about this interesting subject.
Here are a couple of interesting facts about the eyes. They consume up to 50% of our energy. That makes sense — after all, we close our eyes to sleep, to recharge our energy.
At least half of our brain capacity is devoted to vision. This also makes sense if you think of computers: text files are tiny; audio files are much larger; video files tend to be huge.
And eyes reveal a lot about you. As the saying goes, your eyes are the window to the soul.
Seeing Is Believing
You may have noticed that it can be tough to negotiate an understanding via email. Words communicate only so much.
It’s much easier to communicate by phone. You hear each other’s tone and inflection. How you say it makes a big difference.
But nothing beats eye contact, especially when there’s a lot riding on the outcome of the conversation.
Fortunately, video conferencing has become mainstream. So it’s easier than ever to get eyeball-to-eyeball for critical communications.
Not Just Flirting
Instead of grabbing the phone for a conference call, think how much more you might be able to accomplish with an ad hoc online meeting.
Here are a few reasons why:
1. Emotional content
Your eyes communicate your enthusiasm, or the lack of it. So if you’re sold on your idea, let people see the excitement in your eyes. Remember that buyers are people, and people buy based on emotion then use logic to justify their decision.
2. Revealing “Tells”
Have you ever watched a high-stakes poker game on TV? Some players hide their eyes behind sunglasses. That’s because people watch carefully for any signs of deception. So if you believe in what you’re saying, your eyes will help convince.
There are billions of gigabytes of data on the Web. So people can get the information they need. But what they truly hunger for is a connection — the human touch. Showing listeners your lively eyes can help you build rapport quickly.
Even if your voice isn’t so great, you can emphasize important points with your eyes, just as you would in everyday conversation. Now you shouldn’t overdo it, because it can become comical. Just be aware of opportunities to use your eyes to communicate certainty, cast doubt, convey humor, or show concern.
5. Reinforcing Familiarity
Quick: think of your best friend. What was your thought process? You probably thought of that person’s face, looking straight at you. And the eyes are usually the most prominent feature of the face. So giving your customers the opportunity to see your eyes in action can give them a nice feeling that they know you as a friend.
The Eyes Have It
So that’s why your eyes help you communicate. But how to do it?
Practice your presentation in front of a mirror. You’ll find out quickly whether your eyes are working for you. Introduce just a little more movement into your eyes and eyebrows, to see if that makes your face livelier.
Practice your presentation with a friend and ask for feedback about your facial expressions. They may be able to cue you in about any annoying facial habits that may be distracting to listeners.
Just for fun, check out this video of three young women discussing the fine points of eye flirting.
Ooh, Katie almost got it right. But then . . .
The lesson is clear — less is more. Above all, be yourself. Relax and let your personality shine through; your audience is bound to find you likable and believable.
And if you’re really good, you can even eye flirt in text 😉